So Close
by merder4everandever
Summary: ONESHOT! Takes place right after Meredith tells Derek to only date her. Meredith and Derek are so close to reaching that famous happy end, but...


**A/N: Okay so this is my first one shot. I didn't want to do my book report, so I decided to just do this quick little story. It may become a two-shot, but I'm not sure…**

The rain dripped down her face and off her chin. You couldn't tell if she was crying, but you would assume she was because her face was distant, cold…strands of hair stuck to her face, and her hands shook. She was scared. Scared of what though? Being a lone? Having nowhere to go? Having no one to listen? Her face was flushed as the rain continued to pour. She stared straight ahead, her eyes glued on the dark road. She could still hear the beeping of the monitors and the smell of blood behind her. But, she wouldn't dare look back. She didn't want to look back, she refused to look back. There was no turning back. Closing her eyes, she envisioned his face. His eyes, his hair, _him_…but then there was her; dark curly hair, brown eyes, white teeth…every guy's fantasy. She told him she didn't want him to see anyone but her. Finally, she told him what she really felt. But, it was too late. He told her countless times to let him in. She told herself countless times to tell him how she felt…but she couldn't. For the longest time, she couldn't. And when she finally did, the world stopped. He had someone else. He couldn't do it anymore. He couldn't _take less than he deserved. _But did he deserve it? His wife showed up, he chose her, and then came running back. He didn't deserve the trust because who was she to know that he wouldn't do it again? The tears stung her eyes and she quickly wiped them off, even though the rain still lingered above her head. A constant reminder of how she felt. Suddenly, she heard his voice. That sweet, soft voice that made her world feel alive. "Meredith!" he yelled. But she didn't look back; she made a promise to herself that she wouldn't look back. The tears flew down her face and mixed with the rain. Don't look back she told herself…_don't look back_. His voice grew louder, more urgent and she heard the splashing of his feet against the puddles…he was coming closer to her. And yet, she couldn't make herself believe that he was coming to take her back, because if she did her world would crash down again, just like it had a year ago... when those three words escaped his mouth: _She's my wife_. She felt his breathe against her neck, but wouldn't look back. "Mer…" he whispered. He reached to touch her shoulder, but she immediately jerked it away. He didn't have the right to touch her, not anymore. His face softened and his eyes grew dark. "I'm sorry." She squeezed her eyes shut hoping that when she opened them this would be a dream. This would not be real. She would be his, and he would be her knight in shining whatever.

They would be _happy_…

…In their white house, with their five kids, and their overwhelming love…they would live happily ever after.

But life doesn't work that way. There's no house and most definitely no happily ever after. "Meredith?" he asked. She could tell he was worried about her. She could tell that he still loved her, just the way he said her name. She could tell that she still loved him by the way her body shivered at the sound of her name off his lips. But she wouldn't look back. He slowly stepped in front of her, forcing her eyes to meet his. "Meredith," he repeated. His voice was extremely calm and his fingers grazed the side of his face. "I am so so sorry…" For the first time, she looked up, tears welled in her eyes, but she wouldn't dare cry in front of him. "I'm sorry too." She said. "It's for the best." He nodded, then reached for her hand. She pulled away. Just like she always did. "I can't Derek…" she whispered, her voice quivering. "I can't do this." She started to shake, tears flowing faster and faster down her already soaked cheek. Her breathe began to quicken and her face grew white. He took her into his arms and held her tight. She grabbed onto his back, clinging on for dear life. Burying her damp face into his jacket, he stroked her hair. "You're going to be okay, Mer…you're going to find someone great, and he's going to love you. He'll be sweet and kind, and will never leave you. You'll get married and grow old together, and he will be your everything." The tears continued to fall as she realized he wasn't talking about himself. "But…" she whispered, her voice on the verge of tears, "You're my everything." He gave her a small, sad smile then pressed his lips against hers. "In a perfect world, Mer, I would be. But this is not a perfect world…" She swallowed hard, hoping desperately to swallow the huge lump overwhelming her throat. So many questions swarmed in her head…

In a perfect world, in a _perfect world_…she would be his.

_We're so close to reaching that famous happy end,_

_Almost believing this was not pretend._

_Let's go dreaming for we know we are_

_So close, so close, and still so far_

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**A/N: Okay I know its horribly sad, and i wasnt gonna make it sad. But then...I dunno, I just decided to go against the traditional oneshots, which usually end up happy...im a rebel So read. love. hate. review? (and remember, if your good, I might make it a two shot so who knows...maybe they'll end up happy)**


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